Friday, July 29, 2011

This is not a joke!


This was in the middle of the interection:
We came upon this interesting sight shortly after a long, heavy rain.  The roads in México are at times in very bad condition, but especially during the rainy season. Everything they use to fill these craters washes away when the streets flood. We do not know if this was put here by the city road crew (lol), by a concerned neighbor, or if some poor sap lost it while passing over this mini sinkhole. The tragedy is, this is not a temporary “solution.” 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Bodily function humor


If Your Body Could Talk

Pain Center(PC): Attention central command; I am getting an incredible amount of signal coming from the waste dump portal until he gets the ok, he is not permitting anything to pass.
Central Command(CC): what exactly is the problem down there?
PC: My fire readings are off the chart! Can you possibly roll back the video for last night, to see what kind of fuel was taken in at that time?
CC: Roger that, I’m looking right now at some footage from the eyes at around 11:00 pm  It looks like eggs with jalapeños, sausage, little crushed red peppers, hot sauce, cheese, and a beer to wash it down.
PC: Great,  what do I tell waste disposal!
CC: According to my readings, he has little choice but to let it pass.
PC:  Of course, but the questions is does he have authorization to initiate the levels of pain he is asking for?
CC: As far as we’re concerned, the authorization was given at about 11:00 last night.
PC: Full pain limits?
CC: Maybe it will teach him a lesson
PC: Roger that, Waste Disposal(WD) by approval of  Com-Central, we are authorizing partial to full expulsion at maximum pain levels, I repeat at full pain levels.
WD: Thank you.  Com-Central can you coordinate the eyes and legs to locate a waste receptacle port, while I increase the bowl pressure and release a little gas.
CC: That’s a positive on the increased pressure, but a negative on the gas release the eyes are telling us that he is in a car of co-workers.   It may be a little while before release will be possible, but still a go on a slow increase of pressure over a … well we’re checking routines currently in process and so… you have a thirty minute window to increase pressure.  After that gas release and pain increase will be authorized.
WD:  That’s a go,  I’m also requesting some perspiration from the sweat glands, and maybe a little rumbling from the stomach.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

This did not make the book


Letter from an Abuser to His Mother

Dear Mom,

I know this is going to be hard for you to take, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. I was hoping I could work this problem out in my own. It has been hard for anyone to recognize that there is a problem. I have been able to hide it so well. Just recently though, I was turned in by an anonymous caller to A.R.S. They raided my home, and when they saw the deplorable situation, they promptly whisked me away. You see, I am an abuser. I am now going to P.A.A. meetings.

Why though am I now telling you all of this? Part of my recovery process is admitting that there is a problem. You can not imagine my horror, when the agents of A.R.S. (Agricultural Rehabilitation Services) flooded into my home with there bottles of Miracle Grow! They were able to revive quite a few, but most of my house hold plants were too far gone. It is so hard for me to tell you this. I wish it was all just a dream, but it is time to face the facts... I am a plant abuser. The Plant Abusers Anonymous (P.A.A) meetings have been a big help! They say if I keep up my current progress, I may be able to take an unsupervised trip to a green house.

I hope you can find it in your bleeding heart to forgive me.

Love your son,

PS- You are not allowed to send real flowers. I do not think they would mind if you sent a picture of them though.

Friday, July 22, 2011

My e-book

This Is Not My Head

By C. E. Bonds



E-Book - $2.99

hostgator coupons