Showing posts with label really funny stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label really funny stuff. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Bodily function humor


If Your Body Could Talk

Pain Center(PC): Attention central command; I am getting an incredible amount of signal coming from the waste dump portal until he gets the ok, he is not permitting anything to pass.
Central Command(CC): what exactly is the problem down there?
PC: My fire readings are off the chart! Can you possibly roll back the video for last night, to see what kind of fuel was taken in at that time?
CC: Roger that, I’m looking right now at some footage from the eyes at around 11:00 pm  It looks like eggs with jalapeƱos, sausage, little crushed red peppers, hot sauce, cheese, and a beer to wash it down.
PC: Great,  what do I tell waste disposal!
CC: According to my readings, he has little choice but to let it pass.
PC:  Of course, but the questions is does he have authorization to initiate the levels of pain he is asking for?
CC: As far as we’re concerned, the authorization was given at about 11:00 last night.
PC: Full pain limits?
CC: Maybe it will teach him a lesson
PC: Roger that, Waste Disposal(WD) by approval of  Com-Central, we are authorizing partial to full expulsion at maximum pain levels, I repeat at full pain levels.
WD: Thank you.  Com-Central can you coordinate the eyes and legs to locate a waste receptacle port, while I increase the bowl pressure and release a little gas.
CC: That’s a positive on the increased pressure, but a negative on the gas release the eyes are telling us that he is in a car of co-workers.   It may be a little while before release will be possible, but still a go on a slow increase of pressure over a … well we’re checking routines currently in process and so… you have a thirty minute window to increase pressure.  After that gas release and pain increase will be authorized.
WD:  That’s a go,  I’m also requesting some perspiration from the sweat glands, and maybe a little rumbling from the stomach.
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